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Entering into the Quiet Space

10July2012

Dear Friends,

As you read this post I will be a entire day into silence. As I write this I am preparing to leave for The Abbey of the Genesee http://www.geneseeabbey.org/ in upstate New York.  I have my bag of books ready to go, I have my shorts and t-shirts all packed, my running shoes and sock are tucked inside my bag, and my heart has been preparing to make the journey as well.  In fact, that’s the most important part of the preparation process.  You see, the last time I went there with my dear friend Pamela, the Holy Spirit grabbed me by the nape of my neck and shoved me into the darkness that I fear so much.  Then the Spirit pulled me back out and held me, weeping, distraught, face to face with the loneliness from which I suffer, and reminded me that I am never alone.  It was a spiritual earthquake of great magnitude and yet I was left with a peace that comforted and consoled me for weeks.

I don’t know exactly why I suffer from such loneliness; perhaps its the call to ministry, perhaps its that the “buck stops here,” perhaps its because of the profound gift of compassion the Spirit has given me that allows me to sit and listen to others for hours as they make their journeys through dark nights.  I know that there is nothing wrong with me, of that I am sure.  And further I have many dear friends and beloved family members who adore me and support me.  Pamela always reminds me that this is the price of leadership in the church. . . the price for standing up for Christ. . . the price for being open and available to those I serve.  I trust that she is right because she is God’s gift to me as a pastor and as a friend.

So I prepare my heart and soul and mind for whatever may come this week, trusting that I will be in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ who will meet me there in Piffard, New York just as he meets me in Norwalk, Ohio, Monroeville, Ohio, Mansfield, Ohio and every other place I frequent or spend my time.  And my congregation has giving me a blessing to “go and be with God” because they know the toll that this vocation takes on a pastor and they seem to want me around a little longer.  It is their act of caring for me when they encourage me to go, reminding me that they will be alright while I’m gone, that are not alone either.  It’s the same with my family.

So CCD readers, know that I will hold you in prayer this week.  Even those of you that I’ve never met. . . if these words reach you in some way then know that you are being held in prayer and in the gentle, loving arms of our Savior.  Perhaps this week you too can find a quiet space to meet Jesus. . . he is ready and waiting for you to assent to his company.

Shalom,

ACL@CCD

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One Comment leave one →
  1. 10July2012 06:46

    Indeed Amy you are never alone – know that you are being prayed for this week as well.
    Peace.

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