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Restlessness. . .


I confess.  I’m guilty of wrestling with restlessness.  I have no idea why that is, it just is! I’m  like the human version of Labrador Retriever!  Oh, I do everything I can to combat this dread spiritual disease. . . pray, walk, run, bicycle, pray, read, exercise, listen and talk. . . and sometimes it works. Sometimes I can settle down and just be content in the moment. But generally I have major trouble living in the moment for very long. My brain is four steps ahead of my feet, planning for a future which may never arrive- be it ministry, projects, vacation, holidays, retirement.  You name. . . I probably have it planned out. But this not about organization or even about imagination!  It’s about being rest-less.

Be Still and Know that I am God.

Be Still and know that I am.

Be Still and Know.

Be still.


And there I can “be” for a few minutes of peace, a few moments of quiet, a few milliseconds of total communion with God. And then I am back again. . . looking to the next thing even while I’m in the midst of a present thing.

Some days I just want to be content. Is that too much to ask? Is that impossible to attain? Contentment is a gift. . . a gift of the present. A gift of the now, solidly, securely living in the moment. I only wish I could string a few more moments together to make a larger moment of contentment. It’s not that I’m unhappy. . . no, that’s not it.  I laugh all the time! I play all the time (I’m a youngest child!). I see beauty everywhere. . . it’s just that I am restless. . . I am longing for something deeper, stronger, more real. . . I am longing for Christ in a way that only comes when the Spirit decides its time. So, until those moments come I have to practice being still.  In my restlessness I have to remind myself to Be Still and Know. In my searching and wandering and wondering I have to recall the psalmist’s words, “Be Still and Know that I am God.”

It’s all I have to offer today.  It’s the best I can do. . . and sometimes it simply has to be enough.


3 Comments leave one →
  1. Pastor Preston Foster permalink
    31July2012 10:08

    Thank you for this echo of MY inner life … longing for Christ … is the best thing …

  2. 31July2012 10:47

    Maybe, like myself, you are practiced at hearing the voice of the Spirit calling you from the now into the not yet. God makes wondrous, creative things out of chaos. 🙂

  3. 31July2012 19:08

    Thanks Thomas, perhaps you are right. I’m listening intently! 🙂

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